violet. violet. violet. violet elsie violet elsie. their needs all the time. that’s mostly what i think about. and then in between those thoughts…i try to make art and stay sane. seriously. i am always on the verge of a little crazy. the other day i heard a woman on the street go ‘see the thing is i AM a bit crazy,’ and i thought you would never hear a man say that. but women, on the other hand, are always professing or confessing to that fact.
like i just did.
we just made a movie in our family. it was a family affair. everyone had to help. that’s how we roll. i’m taking care of everyone’s needs so basically everyone owes me?? simon designed the set. elsie acted two lines and the whole thing was lovely. actually lovely is not at all the word. lovely is walking through high park when your thoughts are slow and easy, drinking wine and eating artichokes (i have never done that), reading a book for the sheer pleasure of it. that’s what lovely is.
making a movie is more…rewarding, excruciating, exciting, satisfying. it’s hard to transform one’s home into a beautiful set, to have your husband work for you (um, so we have slightly different approaches to work), to make acting ‘fun’ for a spirited five-year-old, to have your 10-month-old start crawling like a maniac amidst it all. VIOLET IS
but then again, life is hard. but also good.
i’m gonna have a gratitude circle by myself…starting now.
i am grateful to bravo for funding this film. i am grateful to my bt partner, marie-claire, for negotiating all the things we negotiate!! in order for us to work. i am grateful to my mom and sister who made all of our food on set (pork tenderloin!). i am grateful to simon who supports all of my endeavours. usually my endeavours lead to much weeping, so it’s a sacrifice. to my dad for watching every second of our filming. to a wonderful crew. to my neighbours. to my muse. to god…to my shoes…to my–okay, i’m done.
it feels good to acknowledge that which is good.